What it feels like,visiting children with cancer.

[This is my reaction paper,SocSci3 pa rin re: an outreach program for children cancer patients.]

K29 January 12, 2006

VENTURA, Ivy Razel B.

III-Potassium

Reaction Paper:

Outreach Program to the National Orthopedic Center

As part of our curriculum in our Social Science 3 class, we had an outreach program to child cancer patients in Kythe-affiliate hospitals. I was assigned to the children’s ward of the National Orthopedic Center (NOC), which I visited last January 06, along with other batchmates.

From a letter dated December 16, 2005, the Social Science 3 teachers wrote, "The objective [of the outreach program] is for our students to become aware of the plight of our pediatric patients in government hospitals, experience interacting with these patients, and hopefully realize how much they (our students) can be of help to society."

When we came back to school last January 03, 2006, the whole batch were gathered in the 3^{rd floor auditorium, then the SocSci teachers asked us to watch a film about the life of Mother Teresa. In that film, I saw how depressing it was to work with all patients. But I later on proved that whatever I saw in the film was nothing compared to the feeling during the actual situation.}

The night before our trip to NOC, I devoted the time to pray a lot. I went to a vigil and asked before the Blessed Sacrament the strength to face those children and take care of them. I prayed so hard I only had two hours of sleep.

On our way to NOC, I kept on reading and rereading the do’s and don’ts handed to us weeks before. I wasn’t really feeling that well, like I’m going to throw up. Good thing I felt better later on.

When we arrived at the Orthopedic Center, the first thing we noticed is the crowded place. And when we reached the children’s ward, I was disheartened. The heat ruled over the jam-packed ward, an unpleasant smell hung unto the air. And we’ve noticed that the only air-conditioned place in the hospital was the place where the toys were kept.

In the hospital, we were again given a few more reminders. Then, we were finally introduced to the child we’re supposed to take care of.

My first patient was Trisha, who has a cancer of the bones. For the first time in my life, I found it hard to start a conversation. Maybe because I had to be extra conscious of the words that would come out of my mouth, since I’m dealing with a cancer patient. Therefore, I started by asking her if she wanted to play Chinese Checkers. Alas, I realized that I don’t know how to play the game, and I don’t even understand the instructions. So, instead, we read a book together. The book was entitled, "Five Minutes of Silence". Unfortunately, I also didn’t understand the book. Then, I saw something under her pillows—a Bible. And I gave her a prayer card of St. Josemaria Escriva de Balaguer.

The next thing we did was to color a coloring book. While we were coloring, she mentioned that her favorite game is Chinese Garter. And then I realized that her left leg was already amputated. I felt very bad for her.

Later on, she stopped coloring. She said she felt pain. And I guess, that could’ve been obvious because there’s a lot of blood drops in her bed cover.

Her aunt told me that she just had her chemotherapy the day before. Her aunt also added that eleven-yr old Trisha had already undergone two sessions of chemotherapy and still has to undergo four more. Each chemotherapy session costs 12, 000 pesos and they don’t have the money to support the treatments.

Trisha refused to talk to me all along. So I asked the doctor handling us to give me another patient to take care of so Trisha can rest.

My next patient was, coincidentally, named Raizel. She was crying hard, and I didn’t have to wonder why—her right leg is pierced by two extra large needles. But she immediately stopped crying when I was introduced to her.

Unlike Trisha, Raizel was very energetic despite her "piercings". I really enjoyed my 15 minutes with her. And as a remembrance, I gave her my favorite necklace with a pendant "R". Before we left, she asked me if I’ll return again to visit her. With a heavy heart, I answered her question, "I’ll try, but I can’t promise."

When we returned here in Pisay, we had almost an hour to have lunch. I had mine, but as I was eating, I realized I can’t taste the food I’m eating. I can still smell the blood, see seven-yr old Raizel’s piercings and hear the screams of pain of one young boy in the ward. I barely felt the food enter my stomach.

Then, we had a debriefing afterwards. But I suppose that the debriefing wasn’t effective enough because what we did was merely sharing. How can sharing erase those traumatic scenes in our minds?

Generally, the outreach was a success because the goals of our SocSci teachers were attained, and most of all, the smiles we left in the faces of those kids are simply priceless. I just hope we had a better debriefing. But for now, all I’m looking forward to is coming back in the hospital to visit Trisha and Raizel again.