[This essay was a requirement for English4 nung highschool.Foreword lang: not for the light-hearted.Hehe."A Modest Proposal" ay isang literary work na pinabasa sa min dati.Search nyo na lang sa internet yung original text.Maikli lang yun e.Our English4 teacher,Sir Aghs,asked us to create our own "modest proposal" with no limits and boundaries except human cruelty.hehe.FYI: Sarcasm is the key. Ü]
E25
Date Due: February 20, 2007 Date Submitted: February 20, 2007
Ventura, Ivy Razel B.
IV-Electron
Put to Good Use: A Modest Proposal
"Are you proud of your president?"
Out of the blue, this question was raised by the Spanish interpreter my co-delegate requested for. I definitely know the answer, but it took me a while to find the guts to say it straight to the face of a foreigner.
"No," I finally said after he repeated his question for the second time.
I was relieved when my Mexican co-delegate answered the same without hesitation. We are both 16 and we both think that our country’s government is not worth being proud of. I don’t know his reason, but I’ll bet our president’s head that we have the same raison d'être—corruption.
Corruption is not nation-specific, it’s everywhere. It’s just that its most obvious manifestation is in the government. I don’t even care how Webster defines corruption, for me it’s a heinous crime that deserves Judecca. Now is the perfect time for justice to have its teeth and put an end to this insanity. Since the law doesn’t indicate appropriate measures to deal with corrupt pigs, I have a humble proposal.
Those who have been proven of corruption shall go to a nice 200°C hot bath in order to cleanse their body and temporarily soften their skin for easier chopping. The body shall be chopped into considerable parts, but all the blood must be saved as well as the internal organs. The internal organs will be osterized until fluid. The blood and osterized organs may be mixed with cement to make buildings stronger, since the funds are insufficient to make sturdy infrastructures.
We may now proceed with the remaining body parts. The skin, which is thick with greed, may be used as an alternative for leather. The flesh, on the other hand, may be fed to animals with tough digestive systems. I suggest the zoo animals such as the lion, tiger, crocodile, and their close relatives. We know that poultry animals are fed to these carnivores, but if we can feed them with corrupt officials’ flesh instead, then the poultry could be saved for the worthy humans.
The hair may be made into wigs for poor cancer patients. Or better yet, the hair may be arranged into brooms or feather dusters so that instead of producing synthetic fibers, the resources may be utilized for more necessary products.
"The good is oft interred with the bones," thus said Mark Antony, so maybe we can leave the bones to the felon’s family for them to weep over.
This proposed punishment applies to all levels of corruption. When will we ever learn that big things come from small packages? Well, I must repeat that this is just a proposal, in the mean time. But I am looking forward to its near implementation with the help of more concerned vigilante groups.
Word Count: 464
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